Episode #6 – Click here!
SHOW DESCRIPTION
Are you living paycheck to paycheck? Are you over spending each month? Are you seeing that credit card growing and growing? Then this episode is for you!
Join me as I use sarcasm and humor to share money principles from the greats, those who came before us, and give you tips on how to do a monthly budget so that YOU can take control of your money.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
- Sharing ways you are destroying your chance at financial success
- Offering suggestions for taking control of your money
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IF YOU LIKE THIS EPISODE HERE ARE MORE
Episode 5 – Do I REALLY Need an Emergency Fund?
Episode 4 – Can’t Stop Over Spending? This One’s for You!
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Episode 6
Hello and welcome to the Success by 1,000 Wins Podcast. The show that encourages you to succeed with your money one win at a time. I’m your host, Michael Kopans. And I invite you to join me each week as I give you actionable wins for your finances that help you to reach a millionaire dollar net worth. I have studied and learned from the greats. Money principles which I have implemented into my own life.
The millionaires have spoken and I have listened. The clues are out there. They have left the trail of breadcrumbs. The principles for financial success have been carved in stone. And they are achieved by one win at a time.
My belief is that winning, or wins, helps us succeed with our money. Sometimes it takes 10 wins, sometimes it takes 100 wins, sometimes 1,000. Succeeding takes consistency and an obsession to succeed, an obsession to carry on even when things get hard. Even when things seem to be going backwards or they seem like you haven’t moved forward in awhile.
This is episode 6, How to create a budget. My plan is to convince you today that you just aren’t capable of doing it.
I come to you on day 3 of being sick. Something crappy is running through my family. Started with my son and moved on to the remaining 3 of us.
I’m also recording on the 31st of December, the last day of the year. Couldn’t care about that as much as I care about my Buckeyes playing in their bowl game this evening. And praying and crossing my fingers they make it to the national championship.
I debated about putting together a special, last day of the year episode but, nah, I’m sticking with consistency and the plan. So, without further adieu, if you’re ready for another episode that makes YOU feel like you just CAN’T do it, let’s go!
Ah, to the ones who don’t know how the heck to do a budget.
You are the true heroes in this life! The innocence of your ignorance in playing the fool. You are truly compared to that woman who tells everyone, “I can’t cook,” when Youtube has obviously created cooking videos as simplistic that a 6th grade could follow along.
Let’s call it what it is my friend, laziness of the mind over ableness? Or perhaps you are like SO many of us, looking for some magic formula, some secret, that might result in magically creating more income on your budget sheet, or less debt you owe?
Like so many of us you desire to hit that “enter” button on the spreadsheet and suddenly 1,000 extra dollars appear in the budget.
“Woa! Where did that come from?” You would say ecstatically! As if you didn’t already know that there is NO way you have that much left over in the budget.
Perhaps you’re here today thinking, “I’m just not the type of person who can do a budget. I’m a free spirit.”
Cheers to you my friends! You know what I say to that? Keep on free spiriting it my friend. Your lack of willingness to take responsibility and be an actual grown up is admirable.
To dump such an important responsibility on your spouse or partner, or even better, to just ignore it and live life believing you can just keep throwing reckless spending on the cc.
I mean, that cc is magical, right? You can spend as much money as you want, and never have to address the issue, am I right?
But hats off to you if you are here today actually looking to learn and grow.
I wish I could say I am going to help you but, frankly, I admire your lack of discipline. I admire your stance on life, labeling yourself as “not capable,” “not able,” “not your thing.”
You are living the life that SO many of us did in high school and so many of us desire and wish we could go back to living. A life where mom and dad take care of everything for us.
I’ll be honest with you. I don’t really have faith in you. I mean, let’s be truthful, this is what…your 30th podcast you’ve listened to on budgeting?
You are probably more of an expert on this topic than you give yourself credit but, you’re just not going to do it, are ya? And I think that…is…awesome! You go girl! You go boy!
Don’t EVER let anyone tell you, you need to grow up. Or be responsible with your money.
If anyone ever tells you otherwise, you turn and tell them…”Well, that’s about the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”
But, I suppose if you have faith in yourself in creating your first budget, because no one else does, where would I tell you to begin in creating a budget?
I’d tell you that’s about the dumbest question and then tell you that, when creating a budget, you ALWAYS begin with your income.
But, let’s be honest, you don’t even know how much you make, do ya?
You just show up to work and money magically appears in your bank account, doesn’t it?
Oh, you know what day, and you vaguely have a number that pops into your mind when asked how much you make but, to be honest all you care about is that there is money in your account again to go to the bars with the ladies this weekend.
Or to buy them shoes off of amazon.
Or to throw some more roblox bucks on the ol’ xbox.
God forbid that money actually be utilized to create a bigger and better future for you and your family, or future family. That would just be reckless and irresponsible, wouldn’t it.
Use that money to pay off debt you owe? That’s about the stupidest thing.
So, first point in creating a budget? You’ve gotta know how much you make.
Could you get off your lazy butt for 2 minutes to figure that out, eh?
Then I suppose you’d waste my time and ask…”well, what comes next?” “I finally, after about 10 years of working, figured out how much I make each month. What the hey do I do now?”
That’s a great question my friend! Obviously if there’s a step 1, there’s gotta be a step 2, right?
And I REALLY want to tell you but, let’s be completely honest, you just don’t really believe in yourself, do ya.
And I admire that! I wish I thought so lowly of myself and my capabilities. To go through life telling myself I am incapable of such a simple task. I mean, telling myself that doing a little adding and subtracting is just TOO hard for me. That…is awesome!
Why change? I think you are a rockstar! Going against the flow. Against the grains.
But, I suppose if you WERE to decide to “change your ways” and actually create a your first budget, the next thing I would tell you is, you need to have a list of everything you plan on spending your money on each month.
Oo, all of the bills I owe on, you say.
No! That’s about the dumbest thing. I said, EVERYTHING. You don’t just pay your bills, do ya?
What about free spending when you go out for a date night?
Or that $6 frappuccino that you refuse to stop wasting your money on.
Or the upcoming oil change or insurance premium. These don’t just get magically paid by themselves.
Oh, I know, I just lost some of you here. You’re seconds away from leaving this podcast. To click out.
You just officially told yourself, “creating a budget is TOO hard!” Didn’t ya!
Actually pick up a pen or pencil and write a list of what I’m spending my money on? I can’t do it. I just can’t do it. It’s so…hard!
To actually use my brain cells to think about what’s coming up the next 30 days. Nah, that doesn’t sound like something I’m going to do.
Creating a budget just…isn’t for me Mike.
But for those of you sticking around, I can already hear your next slacker question coming up.
“What priority should I put each bill on the list?” I admire how you ALREADY know your spending is so reckless and disorganized that there’s no WAY you could possibly afford to pay everything.
That’s awesome! People like you are a special breed that deserve a trophy!
You deserve a t-shirt you can wear around town with the logo, reckless and undisciplined.
You deserve standing ovations when you enter a room for your disorganization and lazy personality that you call, “free spirit.”
As much as I really don’t want you to change, however, because frankly, I LOVE your inability to do simple math, I suppose I would tell you that you always begin with the four most important things to survive another day.
I’m not really quite sure why a human being would need someone to tell that but, that’s what makes you even more special.
When creating a budget you always begin with food, your house, your vehicle, and I suppose if you need a little bit of clothes.
Food – you gotta eat don’t ya?
House – why would I have to tell you that being homeless shouldn’t be on the table
The car – well, let’s be pretty transparent here, if you don’t have a car and can’t get to work, how would you make the money to even create a budget? Or to pay for food? Or the house?
And clothes – well…as much as life would be more interesting if everyone walked around naked or in rags, I suppose that we need to continue to look presentable and make everyone THINK we have our stuff together.
Okay Mike so, I know my income, I have a list of my bills and EVERYTHING I plan on spending money on this month. I even have the top four things at the top of the list, just in case I am so reckless that I can’t afford to pay the entire list.
I wanted to put free spending at the top of the list because, that’s how I roll but, you convinced me in your condescending tone to reevaluate my priorities.
Look, this is all really cute. You’re trying. You really are. I mean, 6-7 minutes in. Clearly you are HIGHLY invested in changing but, why would you?
I mean, like the famous theologian Lady Gaga once said, you were born this way.
I guess if you really twist my arm I would tell you that the next step in creating a budget would be to do some basic math. It seems like an obvious next step, but not for you my friend.
As I said, your ignorance is adorable. You’re playing stupid til the end, aren’t ya! And we love that about you. So does your spouse.
Perhaps you remember however, in 4th and 5th grade, your teachers taught you how to subtract big numbers? Yea, now’s the time.
I know! I know! Subtracting. It’s the worst!
Typing in three and four digit numbers into a calculator? Dear God, don’t make me! I’m just not sure if I have the strength to do this.
Oh, your drama queen personality is truly what we love about you. But, sadly, unless you are fingerless, or, without fingers, yea, you can. And if you are fingerless, just call your 5 year old into the room whom you’ve allowed to play on your phone for the past 3 hours, telling yourself, they’re just using “educational games.”
I promise you, your 5 year old is capable of this next step.
Creating a budget, your next step would be to take your income and start subtracting out one bill or expense, after another, after another, after another. All the way until you have subtracted everything out, or until you start seeing negatives on your calculator.
Which, if you hit negative my friend, you are a ROCKSTAR! Amazing! You are truly something that belongs in the history books. Or on display in a museum.
Spending more than you can afford? That’s the American dream, isn’t it?
You know, I feel so silly and childish suggesting this but, I suppose if you had money left over after subtracting everything out, you…could…consider paying extra on your debts until they’re all gone.
Or, maybe start investing for retirement? I mean, heading into retirement with no money is PRETTY awesome but… if you wanted to live a little on the edge, you could always start putting money aside to live out your golden years.
No? Maybe…save for your kids college? OH! You’re the type that thinks your KID should have skin in the game. Oh yea, we know who you are. Unwilling to make sacrifices to help pay such an important expense in your child’s life and then you call it, I just think it’ll make them a better person if they pay for that $40,000 bill. Besides, I couldn’t get my 4 wheeler or surround sound system if I paid.
And still money left over? I suppose… pay extra on your house? Did you know, did you know, you can actually pay that sucker off? Did you know that?
Yea. I know you think you’re supposed to pay on that for 30 years but, that’s not actually a law, did you know that? Did you know the longer you pay on something, the more interest you pay?
I mean, I LOVE interest! It…is…awesome! But, you know if you REALLY wanted to, you could…pay your house off faster and then use the extra money to invest in your future.
Just an idea.
Oh, and my favorite question of all when someone is trying to create their first budget.
“What if…I don’t have enough money…to pay everything?”
At this point my friends, you are truly special. Everyone who knows you is tilting their heads and saying, awe, in that condescending tone.
Have you ever asked a 6th grader that question? Here’s a fun game, go ask a 6th grader, “Hey, if you don’t have enough money to pay for things you need to buy, what would you do?”
I can only imagine 95% of them would say…well, you either can buy everything on your list or…you might need to…get another job bro.
But, who cares what a sixth grader thinks, am I right?
Look, at the end of the day, when all is said and done and I’ve joked at your expense enough, if you’re here and you stuck it out to the end, I believe in you. Someone in your life believes in you.
You can do this! I know you feel like a loser and TRUST ME, you’re not the first and you definitely won’t be the last. But, if you know how to lose guess what…you know how to win! So go out there and win my friends!
One step at a time, one choice at a time, one habit at a time, one…win…at a time. Go out there and win! Go have success by 1,000 wins.
FEATURED IMAGE: Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash
@successby1000wins money budget debt free budgeting win success diy emergency fund financial goals tips hacks
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Michael Kopans is here to share ideas for helping 1 million people reach a million dollar net worth by using money principles he’s learned over the years. Let’s talk money, budgets, becoming debt free, financial wisdom, financial principles that work.
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